By vocation, and by calling, I am a teacher. I am blessed enough to get to spend my days alongside 23 beautiful little souls, impressing upon them everything I can about life and the love of learning. And some days I get so wrapped up in teaching that I forget that I desperately need to be taught, too.
This week I’ve been getting up [extra] early to spend time with God. Real time, not just the showertime prayer I had been giving Him as of late. Real undivided attention…time just for Him without anything else I’m multitasking with. Monday I got up and thanked Him for my day, my wonderful life, His very own presence in me (CA-RAZY, I know!!) I sang some songs to Him, thanked Him some more, asked him for loads of stuff on behalf of my husband, and asked Him to speak to me in some little way.
I sat there. Nothing. I sat longer and waited. Nuthin. I listened. Not a peep. I was starting to get frustrated, because after all I had gotten up at 4:30 instead of my usual 5:00, and I was there just to spend time with Him and have a great life-altering conversation. But so far, it had been completely one-sided. So, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity (probably something like 4.3 minutes) I finally asked Him to show me something in His word that He had in mind for me.
Now, I know there are a lot of good bibles out there. Probably a lot that aren’t wrinkly and half torn and missing 2/3 of the concordance and all the cool maps. There are more “grown-up bibles” that don’t have all the notes in them like mine does. I keep thinking that I oughtta get me one of those grown-up bibles someday. But there’s something about that ratty bible, the first one I ever owned, because its like it knows me. This bible, and it’s Author, speak to me without fail when that’s what I ask for. Hmm…seems like I’ve heard that somewhere…if you lack wisdom you can ask for it! : )
So my wrinkly bible opens up to Psalm 86. I read through the beginning and then saw what I knew was just for me:
“Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.”
I thought of one of my favorite songs…What Do I Know of Holy? by Addison Road. One of the lines sings…
“…I think I’ve made you too small….I’ve never feared You at all, no….”
Which reminded me of some other lovely words from scripture: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
It was clear to me that God was wanting to teach me something, which was kind of weird because I’d been asking Him to show me how to be closer to Him, to have a better relationship with Him. And here He goes wanting to school me on something. Not what I ordered, but I was still okay with it (like I have a choice!) because my heart is so divided at times. I needed this so badly.
Then later that day I checked the biblegateway.com verse of the day, which is a regular habit for me. And wouldn’t you know…?
“The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. -Psalm 25:14”
Huh. So God does want to reveal more of Himself to me in our relationship, our covenant. He wants to make the whole of our covenant with each other known to me. Apparently I need to make a couple of adjustments before that can happen, like having that healthy fear of Him again (or for the first time, maybe?) It’s something I’ve noticed in myself lately, but this really shows me that He wants me to go back to basics, to learn rather than be a teacher right now. I’m so thankful for His gentle nudge, His quiet confirmation in these things.
Althought I know it’s not what I expected, I am so looking forward to being taught, just being taught by the master teacher Himself. It might take a long time. It will likely take a lot longer than I’d wanted. But it will be worth it. Please pray that I can be a good pupil.
This post is part of a series called 31 Days of Making Moments. If you’re new to the series, feel free to click here and you can view all posts in the “31 Days” category and learn what the whole making moments thing is about. Thanks for stopping by!